> Tuesday, June 13, 2006
had a series of amaths lesson. cleared many doubts, at least for me, cause i have too many doubts previously ;)
it's really tough being in a group of near perfects. so pretty, smart and capable. i work extra hard with the hope of improvemnt. but disgustingly there's not even a single bit. time after time i receive my results, i laugh laugh laugh claiming it's just another one. but which fool can really accept it. even more when i hide it deep. does it imply that i am hopeless or is my brainseverely damaged. as compared to them, since day1 i've never done anything worth commenting. i really hate comparisons ! being so inferior bout' my qualities is enough, the worse thing is i can never ever reveal my true feelings to people. why can't i just be sad when i am sad? Whenever i tried to confide in someone, my xi pi xiao lian and cheery tone will surface. what the hell is that lar. am i really a fated entertainer? when my friends are upset, i get the most effective things that can cheer them up. but i cant even do the most basic thing of cheering myself up! it disgusts me entirely when i can only face a piece of paper and write out everything . or a comp and type it out. I dont want anything virtual or dead. i want something that can move, something that can talk for goodness sake! world apart - i know its impossible.
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz ARGHHH!
it's really tough being in a group of near perfects. so pretty, smart and capable. i work extra hard with the hope of improvemnt. but disgustingly there's not even a single bit. time after time i receive my results, i laugh laugh laugh claiming it's just another one. but which fool can really accept it. even more when i hide it deep. does it imply that i am hopeless or is my brainseverely damaged. as compared to them, since day1 i've never done anything worth commenting. i really hate comparisons ! being so inferior bout' my qualities is enough, the worse thing is i can never ever reveal my true feelings to people. why can't i just be sad when i am sad? Whenever i tried to confide in someone, my xi pi xiao lian and cheery tone will surface. what the hell is that lar. am i really a fated entertainer? when my friends are upset, i get the most effective things that can cheer them up. but i cant even do the most basic thing of cheering myself up! it disgusts me entirely when i can only face a piece of paper and write out everything . or a comp and type it out. I dont want anything virtual or dead. i want something that can move, something that can talk for goodness sake! world apart - i know its impossible.
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz ARGHHH!
